You Bring About What You Speak About

Warning:

Be careful what you wish for, think about, speak about, and put out to the universe because I do believe “you bring about what you speak about.”  

When I was younger and not so wise, I said out loud that I wanted to work in a grocery store because I like to push buttons.  Not a very lofty goal, I admit, but I was young and not very bright.  “POOF”...wish granted.  I ended up working at Almy’s (for those of you too young to remember it was a department store before Marshalls existed) and fulfilled my button pushing obsession as it was pre-bar code scanner.  Yes, all of those numbers had to be entered into the register by hand.  I should have been more specific with that thought, for the universe had a spot for me at Shaw’s too.  There was some confusion with this placement,  as I landed in the deli department.  Probably too many trips to the deli counter for Mom....”a pound of Land-o-Lakes cheese please, thinly sliced.”  See what happens when you are not specific!

To my current situation I must thank my fascination with Vampires.  Before Bella and the Cullen Clan came to Forks, I was more intrigued than frightened by Bram Stroker’s Dracula.  Another “error in thoughts” to the universe.  As luck would have it,  I sleep during the day, have aluminum foil on my windows to simulate night time when clearly it is not, I am up all night, I don’t eat meat, poultry, fish, cheese, milk, too much sugar, caffeinated beverages, wheat, or gluten,  the sun makes me cranky, and I seem to go out only at “twilight.”  A coincidence???  I think not.  

Sadly, I have none of the benefits of being a vampire.  I do not sparkle in the sunlight, I am not amazingly attractive ( 0K, maybe a little), men do not fall at my feet, I am not immortal and yes I still seem to be aging....however gracefully.  I do not have superhuman strength, I cannot run through the trees or hear people’s thoughts or see the future or heal on command and I still cannot do that really cool leapy thing.  Although I may not be able to flip into vampire mode or have any of the fascinating traits of a vampire when provoked all niceness goes away and Vampire Bitch appears.  Not quite what I put out into the universe but I will take it.  I have honed the skill over the years and have become quite good at it.  Bitch mode has served me well on many occasions,  and I would not want to be without it.  

Lesson learned:  You bring about what you speak about, so be specific, very specific!

Signed, 

Miss Vampira Bitch