Life Behind the Wall: Part One

When people are told I currently work in a facility that houses those folks in our society that have done bad things and need an extensive "time out"....the reactions are many. Anyone who knows me and my education get a bizarre look of confusion on their face. I get it a lot and just shrug my shoulders and move on.

Trying to explain the roads traveled that add up to my "job" is time consuming and draining. I know the story and it all makes perfect sense if I explain it all in great detail....honestly....who really cares?

Once the current position clicks on the brain a light goes off somewhere...probably very far away....and the crazy questions come flowing out like a faucet that has been backed up for a million years that just got unplugged. Again, it happens a lot so I smile, wait....and begin to entertain them on "life behind the wall". So many stories and only so much blog space so here begins the first installment of.....

"Life Behind the Wall"

First Installment:
Detail, Canteen & The Microwave

Detail: Those "picked" to do extra chores in the "house" for extra benefits. IE: staying out of your room for longer periods, getting first pick at any extra food (not really sure if that is actually a perk), feeling special (every little bit counts), having the others in your "house" respect you more because now you can get them stuff.

Canteen: Anything and everything a normal person, not in the extended "time out", would think those in the "time out" would not get to have.
IE: Cookies, M&M's, sneakers, long underwear, extra underwear, nail clippers, brushes, ramen noodles, kielbasa, rice, cereal, toaster pastries, chips, popcorn, cheese spread, tuna, sardines, coffee, creamer, mocha mix....and the list goes on and on. Granted they can only purchase if they have money in their account and the proceeds do go to help pay the bills....but I still do not get it???

Microwave: Yes, it is the same behind the wall as it is outside the wall.

An ordinary day behind the wall in the "house" of 170 men. The time of day when most of them are back in their rooms reflecting on why it is they are in the "time out" or watching their color TVs...you be the judge. The detail, the chosen few, are scurrying about cleaning up after lunch doing their chores, when out of the corner of my eye I see a strange site.

One of the chosen is quickly assembling what looks to be like ingredients for a recipe. Nahhh...I must be seeing things...as this also happens behind the wall. As I take a few steps closer to get a better look, moving ever so slowly so I do not frighten the "chosen one", I see what I thought I did. Apples (not sure where those came from), bowls, vanilla cream cookies, sporks and assorted other goodies. What is going on here I say to myself as I watch closely without being noticed....he was concentrating so hard I do not think he would have seen me if I walked right up and offered to help.

Given my culinary background I was intrigued to watch the little man work. Separating the cookies like any Oreo pro would and scraping off the cream into a separate bowl, crushing the cookies into small pieces, breaking the apples down, (not sure how this was done..probably should have looked harder...although you would be amazed at the things you can do with a spork.)

As he mixed, poured and melted working quickly as his time was coming to an end. I had to ask...."What are you making?" Apple Pie, of course. WHAT??? Yes, you heard him right...apple pie. The broken cookies are the crust, then you layer in the apples, bake in the microwave and top with the melted vanilla cream from the center of the cookies. Now, why didn't I think of that?

"A cookbook "I said, "You should write a cookbook." Silly me there already is a cookbook, where did I think the ideas came from. Microwaving for Folks Behind the Wall. I am sure it is online somewhere...maybe Amazon has it.

Jolly Rancher Lollipops:
1. Place Jolly Rancher candy in Medicine cup given to you by nurse when taking meds.
2. Place in microwave and cook until melted.
3. Being oh so careful, remove cup and insert Q-tip, minus the cotton top, and cool.

M&M Birthday Cake
Still not sure how the girls pulled this off but I smelled the damn thing baking.

If you ever find yourself in the extended "time out", as I hope you never do, just be comforted in the thought that not all is lost. With your canteen, a microwave and a spork or two you can make your stay behind the wall seem like just another day at home.....well, sort of.