Saturday, August 28, 2010

Define "vacation" for me


So, is it wrong that the best part of my vacation was the week I was home alone while my family went on vacation without me? Thanks to my new job, I couldn't take advantage of the full two weeks of our annual Cape Cod extravaganza, so after I gleefully dropped off my husband and son, I high-tailed it back to my peaceful sanctuary for a week of whatever I wanted to do. Not that I don't enjoy endless days of hanging out (and I use that term literally) on the beach, shopping at the same stores, and eating at the same restaurants that I've frequented for the past 4 million years, but truly (cue: Lionel Ritchie song) there was something way more appealing about being home for almost an entire week with no obligation to cook, clean, watch stupid TV, or perform any other wifely duties.

Not that I did anything particularly exciting, but I did catch a glimpse of my former self. Or, the former self that I wish I had been...or at least had been for a few more years before I went down the rabbit hole (or into the Pit of Dispair, depending upon the day). It's just fun to hang out with friends, enjoy a great meal that you know no one in your house would ever try or enjoy, laugh a lot, and remember what it means to completely relax. It was truly (don't forget Lionel here as well) a week-long Happy Place. Yippee for me to have the chance to be "single" for even a short amount of time. It was a wicked-pissah time and is now my new annual vacation spot.

Saturday, August 14, 2010

L. B. T. W: Part Three

A conversation with a female:
A color coded story so the players may remain nameless.

"Hi! (all sticky sweet which is a huge indication that something is up, usually they are going to ask you for something the know they should not be asking you for) Are you Spanish?" (not that I remotely look Spanish by any means, Greek maybe, Italian absolutely but Spanish is a stretch)

"No, Why? Do you not speak English?"

"Yes I do, but (here it comes) I want to know if I can watch my Spanish show at 12:00 A.M.? I watch it every night at this time (which is highly doubtful) and tonight is the last one and I have been waiting all week to see it!"

"NO!"

"Please, I really want to watch it!"

"Is it in Spanish?"

"Yes! "

"And how is that fun for me?"

"Don't you have a book or something you can read?"

"Oh, so now you are telling me how to spend my time on my shift??!!!!"

(Insert blank stare)

"Seriously....you need to go to the bathroom and get back in your room...seriously"

Later that night/early morning, after I clearly turned the TV away from her door, was clearly not watching anything other than and English speaking show (seeing as I speak English and all) she exits her room to "use the bathroom".

"You are not going to let me watch my show?"

"NO I AM NOT, THIS IS NOT REC TIME FOR YOU!!!"

"C'mon, please?"

"NOOO!!!"

Off she storms to the bathroom....on her way back to her room she mutters under her breath...
"Well, if you're not going to let me watch my show......SLAM goes the door."


Be happy that you have a Spanish channel to watch when you are allowed to watch it! Be happy that considering your situation you have a SATELLITE DISH to watch with more channels than I have at home! Be happy that you are out for recreational activities more hours in the day than I have to do recreational activities.

Do I have a book to read or something?? Don't let the shiny shoes fool you, I am not NEW!!