The Blind Date

When you are past your thirties (not that far past) and single, one must take hold of all potential dating situations. All options are pretty awkward, but none have the most probability of disaster like the blind date. To that end, I would much rather go to the dentist than go on a blind date. The one possible exception to this rule is if a trusted friend sets you up with someone they know. Still scary but not as bad as it could be...and when the friend offers to actually go on the date well, how can one lose. You can....and very badly I might add.

We all know that people in work sometimes do not behave the same way out in the real world. So just when you think you know someone, strange things happen when you get them outside the bubble. After much planning and a few red flags (i.e., even after having your e-mail for over a month, the boy still cannot e-mail you without the help of the co-worker friend even after you send a funny hello e-mail to get the ball rolling a bit), the date is scheduled.

Looking pretty cute, I might add, I meet my friend at the restaurant to wait for the boy. I am chatting and not paying attention when the boy comes up behind me. My friend sees him first and introduces me. Thank goodness I had my sunglasses on is all I can say. I tend to make visual connections with people; I may not remember your name, but a face I never forget...not always a good thing, I realized, when I turned around. The very first person that came to mind when I saw the boy was Mr. Bean, the British actor. I'm in hell. So, now I have the first hurdle: being able to look at him without laughing hysterically. Then came the lisp. Okay, I am a big girl, I think I can overlook the lisp. As we walked to the table I did the quick up and down that we girls are so good at (they never know you are doing it) and became a bit more horrified than I already was. The Mr. Bean thing was a definite issue, the lisp not that big of a deal, the shirt and shorts that looked like they came out of the hamper did not help and the one thing that pushed me over the edge and quickly into hell.....the black socks with grey sneakers. Ladies, it was all down hill from there. There is just no recovering from that.

Thank goodness my friend was there otherwise I think I would have left the area very quickly. Lunch was quick and painful. The conversation was lagging, sense of humor very bizarre and I tried really hard to leave when my friend abandoned me. Clearly my facial expressions were not conveying to her the pain and horror I was feeling, which is odd because if you ask any family member they will tell you my face does not usually hide the true feelings going on. Alone, abandoned and frightened, I tried hard to end the conversation with very short answers to his bizarre questions. I tried to make little to no eye contact and sat with my purse in my lap and my arms folded. Clearly he was not very perceptive. I was stuck there for what seemed like eternity when somehow there was a break in the lack of conversation. I took the chance and got the exit I had been hoping for. I got up quickly to escape hoping against hope he was not parked anywhere near me. Thank goodness he was halfway across the parking lot in the opposite direction. "You have my e-mail, right?!?...I'll talk to ya." Knowing full well he would never e-mail me as he was unable to perform such a task in the beginning. I was free....

My friend is still my friend and apologized to me later. She also gave him a few pointers and now realizes why he is in is forties and still single and living with his folks...yup, that is correct. I say don't save the break-up card for the end of the relationship, bring them with you on every blind date, seeing date, Internet date, friend-to-friend set-up, and chance meetings. Why sit through a lunch, dinner or drinks with some boy who just cannot get it together. I could have used an easy out: thanks so much, hand him a card, and run screaming from the building.
Time is too precious. Why waste on a blind date that you wish you were actually blind for?

What's the meaning of this?

I'm fascinated by this display. First of all, it is the artful creation of two boys, ages 6 and 9. That in and of itself isn't necessarily the bizarre part. After all, it is well documented that boys (and men) like to blow stuff up, rearrange the parts, and make valiant attempts to put everything back together. Although all the parts are present, they're not exactly where they're meant to be. Or are they?

In an attempt to read way too much into this scene, let's analyze the situation. It's interesting that the woman, while assuming the subordinate position, is only being held down by the head of Superman, which could be easily cast aside by the flick of a wrist or a slight move to the right. Granted, if the positions were reversed, she'd have to balance herself on the decapitated head, which wouldn't be easy, to say the least, so kudos to the boys for simplifying the situation for her. You would think, being boys, that they would have yanked her head off to give Superman something to play with. Maybe they already realize that women are in control of most situations, foreign and domestic, so why buck the system. Or maybe they're simply demonstrating the obvious: men are ruled by their "head," so why be encumbered by extra parts. It's amusing that the headless superhero is forced to watch the scene from his post by the wall. Typical. Here's another guy trying to pass off passive participation for actual interest in a relationship. Clearly more than half of him has left the area. Does she know it? Or, is she faking it as well?