Is honesty the best policy?

If your spouse decides (somewhat on a whim) that she needs a change, but she realizes that the real change she's looking for is something drastic like (a) getting liposuction, or (b) leaving the county. So, instead she opts for getting her hair cut...just a little too short. After years and years of straight long beautiful hair, she mentions to her stylist that she needs a change and is thinking about going shorter when suddenly the scissors fly in an instant to her hair and suddenly it's all gone. Now, given the fact that there are so many things that can go wrong in life, a less-than-brilliant hair decision is not something that gets me riled up, unless I've really taken a wrong turn and ended up with layers. That's a decision not easily rectified. Thankfully, I didn't do that, so I'm confident that my latest snafu will grow back in a relatively short period of time (what's 6-8 months in the scheme of life), so I'm willing to deal. And, it's not horrifying. The issue at hand, however, is not how I feel about the hair, it's the reaction I get from my spouse. Is honesty the best policy in this instance? Does it make sense to ignore the hair for two days until I have to bring it up myself and pull the reaction from the depths of despair? Depends upon the spouse, I suppose. Apparently, after four million years of marriage, the best way to handle a change of this magnitude in my situation is to ignore it, wait for it to be brought up, and then "be honest" and reveal the love for the former hair and the hate for the latter. No reason to pretend for even a second that it looks okay in order to protect the feelings of the wife who may be feeling a bit insecure about her decision. No reason to think silently, "wow, that's not a good look, but I'm sure it will grow back and since she does everything around here, takes care of the kid, cooks the meals, cleans the house (mostly), just bought all the Christmas presents, and paid for the house renovation, I think I should just give her some props for the new look and keep my feelings to myself... yeah, that is definitely the best course of action." Hmmmm, wonder what would have happened if that had happened?

Marriage baggage

The beginning stages of a relationship are sort of like a Baggage Claim, don't you think? Both of you arrive at the relationship with all your baggage. In some cases, the baggage isn't a problem, so you pick everything up and bring it home right away. Most of the time, however, you purposely leave a piece behind to ride the baggage carousel until the end of time, or until it inadvertently finds its way home and blows up over dinner one night, whichever comes first. Either way, if you or your partner have too much baggage, you end up paying for it, one way or another.

When you're dating, it's much easier to ignore the baggage or think it's not going to get in the way. Everything else is infinitely more important than a few pieces of baggage...the bliss, the fun dates, the bliss. Sooner or later, someone inevitably comes along to point to the baggage. You know, in case you didn't trip over it yourself. Parents are often the culprits here mostly because they're still living with the baggage they left at the airport and they're just trying to be helpful. Good friends may call attention to a particularly big piece of baggage, but they usually do it in such an innocuous way that you sometimes miss the point and continue onward anyway. Of course, it doesn't matter who is pointing out the obvious, you always know when the baggage is in the way. It's just a question of whether you're willing to admit it. Sometimes you can move it yourself and other times, it just sits there....ticking away. Personally, I enjoy putting away the same piece of my husband's baggage over and over again until it actually becomes my baggage and I'm in therapy trying to figure out how I ended up with so much more baggage than I left the airport with.

So remember, whether you're just arriving in your relationship or if you've been on the trip for years, both sets of luggage end up in the same tiny closet sharing the same crammed space and getting in the way whenever you need to do something important...like remember how you got here in the first place.

(Wow, that was officially the longest metaphor I ever wrote.)

Joys of winter

Have you ever wondered why young children so willingly launch head-first into a pile of snow, take their bike down a steep hill at death-defying speeds while standing up on the pedals, or go outside in the freezing cold dressed for a day at the beach? Could be (a) they're dumb as a doornail, (b) they've inherited that "adventure" gene and don't care about consequences, or (c) they're just displaying the fact that, as comedian Paul D'Angelo pointed out to a crowd of giggling adults this past weekend: Their dumpster isn't full yet. They don't think ahead to the ramifications of their actions because they have no frame of reference. It's all sweetness and light until puberty (give or take a year or two). Think about it. What did you do the last time you were watching the 11 o'clock news and saw the weatherman pointing to a snowflake on the map that was distinctly traveling in your direction? Did you:

1. Get up from your comfy chair to yell, "Whoo-hoo, it's going to snow! That's awesome! I can't wait to put on my boots and mittens and make a Snow Angel before I drive to work."
2. Wait up all night to watch the snow falling from the sky in all its infinite beauty and wonder if it's really true that no two snowflakes are alike.
3. Dig around for an old scarf and hat, rip some buttons off an old sweater, and find a firm carrot in the bottom of the vegetable drawer so you can design the snowman you're going to build with glee the next day.
4. Curse and mumble to yourself anticipating the nightmare that is scraping your windshield at 6:30 in the morning after you've shoveled a path to the car so you can get a headstart on what will absolutely be a crabby commute with thousands of like-minded miserable adults all going in the same direction at the same wicked slow speed only to end up late for work in spite of your efforts, which puts you in a foul mood right up until it's time to go home, and continues as you pull into the driveway and realize you're the first one home and the rock salt you should have put by the walkway is actually still in the basement and your lame shoveling that morning left a thin coat of snow on the pavement that has since turned to black ice that you don't see until you're on your butt with your lunchbag and its leftovers strew all over your wool coat that you now have to send to the dry cleaners even though you've only worn it twice so far this season.

I rest my case.

L.B.T.W.: Part Two

It is official the country is in a recession. Not sure we needed an official notification but since we have one now we must "officially" take steps to save, save, save. One thing we women can start saving on are cosmetics...makeup to be exact. Thanks to the women behind the wall we all have a few suggestions.

Items Needed:

• One bag of M&M's. It makes no difference if they are plain or peanut. The bag size and type depends on how much snacking you might do during application. Word of caution: Do not purchase the holiday M&M's or you will be stuck with only red & green to work with. OK for some but not all skin tones can handle red & green.
• One bag of Hot Balls. I am not sure how easy they are to purchase but if they are on the canteen list (see L.B.T.W Part One), they should be available for general purchase.
• Dirty window. Specifically the grime on the sill. I am not sure if your grime will work exactly the same as the grime in the sills behind the wall..just think of it as Maybelline vs. Cover Girl...all the same just different label.

Eye Makeup Application:

Eyeliner: Using your finger or cotton swab gather up some of the window grime. Ever so carefully apply the grime to the upper and lower lid at the base of the eyelashes as you would normally. Be very careful not to get any grime in your eye or you might get an infection or lose your eye all together. Remember: During these economic times one must make sacrifices. Nobody B.T.W. has lost an eye yet. It's all fun and games until someone loses an eye.

Eyeshadow: Choose the M&M color that best matches your eye color or outfit. Wet the M&M using your tongue. Rub the wet M&M across your eye lid to apply the color. You may use more than one color for different looks. Use more for the smoky eye or if you are going out less for the during the day look. Thank goodness for the new blue M&M. Be careful with your color choice as too many choices just make M&M brown.:)

Blush: Remove a hot ball from the plastic wrapper. Wet the hot ball with your tongue. Rub the wet side of the hot ball on the "apple" of your cheek. Applying more layers of the wet hot ball will intensify the color.

Lip Color: Unwrap another hot ball, wet one side with your tongue and apply wet side of hot ball to your lips. If you are looking for a more muted color use the the hot ball you used for your blush. It will be more of a pink tone where a new hot ball will deliver hot red lips....unless you are already sucking on that hot ball then you will just have to lick most of the color off the new one.

There you have it makeup tips for this economic recession. Cheap, fast and easy with snacks to spare. It is important to look your best at all times so don't let these crazy financial times or an extended time out dampen your spirits or your face.