The Chosen Ones!

If you have chosen the single life by design or default, be excited about your quest and know you are the chosen ones.  I personally don’t know many happily married people.  I am surrounded by much divorce and infidelity.  Complaints about spouses, kids, not enough sleep, not enough money and no free time are frequently dumped my way.  Be thrilled you single folks, you can do whatever you want ALL THE TIME!  Yes, it all falls in your lap.  Laundry, chores, errands, bills, taking out the trash, cooking, cleaning, it is all up to you.  If you don’t do it, it does not get done.  It can all be overwhelming on your own but seriously how many married peoples share those tasks?  You would probably end up doing all that stuff anyway, but on your own, you can still do whatever you want ALL THE TIME! 

You may yearn for the comfort of another, someone to talk with, to hang out with, do not fret, it will pass, it might just be gas.:)  If the yearning does not pass after a fair amount of time and a huge consumption of chocolate, remember these three words; ADOPT A PET!  They give you unconditional love, without attitude, judgement or opinion.  They listen when you need to vent, without a look, eye roll or making it all about them.  They are truly excited to see you every time.  They will happily do what you want, go where you want, stay at home with or without you and eagerly await your return.  You choose them and they are so grateful you did.

Statistics say single women over 40 are more likely to get struck by lightening than find a mate and get married.  How exactly did they come up with this statistic?  Did they assemble a group of over 40 single females actively searching for a mate, throw them in a field during a lightening storm and wait?  Seriously, what male came up with that?  A life stuck in a bad relationship or surviving a lightening strike???  Bring on the storm, I say!  I will take the option of doing whatever I want ALL THE TIME, and risk the lightening strike, at least I’ll get on the news.....

BREAKING NEWS

“Single Woman in her 40’s Gets Struck by Lightening”

A local single woman in her 40’s gets struck by lightening while doing whatever she wants ALL THE TIME.  She was rescued by a local, hot, single, off-duty firefighter, doing whatever he wants ALL THE TIME.  Woman survives, wedding planned for the fall. 

Driver's Ed. for MA Imports

Everybody takes the same test to obtain a drivers license yet we all drive differently.  If you are Massachusetts born and raised, not an import, there are certain things that are  learned through osmosis.  As a youngster sitting in the back seat on those long Sunday drives, poking your siblings, watching the traffic, paying attention to your folks driving, certain things just stick.  Like the accent there are just some things  you cannot undo.

• We do not travel in the on and off lane, a.k.a “the slow lane”, the lane far to the right, on the highway.  People, it is for getting on and off the highway.  If you are traveling in it we cannot get on of off the highway.
• Directionals are for the weak.  We do not use them.  We know where we are going and it is really none of your business.
• Speed limits are just suggestions.  If you are driving the speed limit or below, you are driving way too slow.  Except of course in a school zone, always, always do the speed limit in a school zone.  (Lesson learned, twice.)
• The speedy lane, the one way to the left, is just that, the speedy lane.  It is not for the faint of heart, so speed up or get out of the way.  
• The “Massternational” sign for get out of the way is headlights on your tail,and  for those of us kicking it old school, the high beam flutter. 
• Please keep up with everybody else.  One slow poke causes congestion and traffic making everybody late.
• Car Clusters: clusters of cars driving to slow to get around and too fast to cut through, not leaving enough room between vehicles to allow for changing lanes.  
• PLEASE STOP THE CAR CLUSTERS!!!  Don’t be scared, separate yourselves.  There is no safety in numbers.  Claim your space and move along.
• Above all else pay attention to your surroundings.  WE know the rules, WE know where we are going, WE are in a hurry and YOU are in the way!